Serious Eats: Turns out women used to be condemned as witches and burned at the stake for making and/or carrying whiskey. Turns out we’re entirely staffed by WITCHES.
Map Urbane: This adorable map outlines New York City by foodie destinations. Highlights include Central Park blocked out by “TAVERN ON THE GREEN NEEDS MORE CASH TO REOPEN.”
Gawker: Kraft has agreed to remove artificial dyes from its unpopular/seasonal mac ‘n’ cheeses. Original formula will still be the garishly orange hue of your childhood.
Grub Street: DALE TALDE GOT A BOOK DEAL! DALE TALDE GOT A BOOK DEAL! DALE TALDE GOT A BOOK DEAL!
Food & Wine: Would you like chefs to love you as much as you love them? Avoid these five examples of annoying diner behavior when eating out, compiled by Josh Ozersky. Mostly, don’t be a control freak, you jackass.
Bon Appetit: Bon Appetit is now dispensing medical advice, claiming this slideshow of soup recipes can cure your Seasonal Affective Disorder. WHATEVER SOUP, I’M A WITCH, YOU DON’T KNOW MY LIFE.